My first Love  

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I met her two years ago.

When I first came to Kathmandu, I had a very tough time adjusting in this city. The pollution, the crowd, and struggling to get a job, made me frustrated and you know the problem of staying in rent – water insufficiency.

It is very fun to wander around Kathmandu when you are new. As the time passes, you are used to the situation, you are used to the pollution, used to the crowd and if you don’t have your own vehicle – it is really annoying to travel in the crowded bus or micro.

It had been two months, I was frustrated and tired looking for a job. I was hopeless and nothing was going well. So, I started spending most of my time in the room watching movies or Surfing the internet.    

I never had a girlfriend that means I was never in love. It’s not that I never tried – I used to flirt with many girls in social sites and there was one girl whom I used to talk. I confessed my love to her many times in phone or chat and even meet her once but that didn’t help to make her fall for me. I always wanted a girl with whom I could share my feelings.

The worst part of living with your friends is a room is, your roommate having two girlfriends and you don’t even have one. So you are annoyed by their midnight long talk.

Jobless and having no girlfriend made me forlorn.  I did not use to go out. My roommate was aware of my situation, so it was the day when my roommate decided to take me out and introduce me to one of his friend and the exciting thing is roommate telling that she is so beautiful and single.

Single and beautiful gave me some hope. We got dressed up and left our place.

My roommate owns a pharmacy and we reached there. I came to know that his girlfriend and that friend is coming over in pharmacy. I and my roommate were in the pharmacy waiting for them.

 One girl came to the pharmacy looking for someone, and I didn’t know she was the one. Later I saw my roommate talking to his girlfriend and her so came to know she is the girl that he was talking about. They were having their conversation and I sat there quietly. I didn’t know them properly and it was my very first meet with them. I once interrupted them but left a bad impression.

She was beautiful and polite. As the saying goes “Love at First Sight”, I instantly fell in love with her in our first meet. I was listening to her talk and couldn’t take my eyes off her. It wasn’t like a continuous staring but rather I acted like I was not interested but deep inside I was trying hard to get her attention.

I couldn’t talk to her in our first meet and left a bad impression. I told my roommate about how beautiful and nice she is, and how I instantly fell in love with her. My roommate girlfriend also came to know about my situation.

Do you know what our friends do when they come to know about our crush or someone we like? – They tell others. They tell them he likes her, or she likes him. It didn’t take long, and she came to know about me. My roommate girlfriend talked with her about me, about how I became a fan of her, frequently praises her beauty and fell in love with her.

But the response was disappointing.

The response was “Not Interested”. 

I felt humiliated and thought “Am I that bad looking?”

BTW, I’m good looking.

Even then, I didn’t stop trying. I was frequently asking about her from my roommate girlfriend, and my roommate girlfriend helped me many times delivering my messages. Message Like that I sent her request on Facebook and didn’t get any response.

Next day I decided to get her number from my roommate’s girlfriend.

I texted her at night. It literally took me around two hours to write her because my cell phone display was corrupted and couldn’t use some of the alphabets. It took nine attempts to send her all the message.

My very first message was

“Hey Amanda, sanchai chau?” ma Bill, asti pharmacy ma bheteko . Ryan ko sathi . Tme foreign panda jane plan ma chau re. That’s great. But foreign padna jana teti sajilo chaena . Padnu ta parcha nai plus kam pani garnu parcha . So, tehi anusar ko mentality banaunu parcha . Suru , suruma garo huncha but pachi bani bascha . Mero ek jana sathi pani foreign ma padcha . If you need any help feel free to ask. Ani Halka shy Chau bhane suneko thiye . Halka social pani hunu paryo . Dherai manche haru bhetnu parcha ani help pani magnu parcha . Anyway, kehi help paryo bhane feel free to say.”

This is was my very first message to her. I knew that I will get her reply because most of the girl don’t reply when you start flirting or complement them in the first message.

I got her reply after some minutes. It was like

“Thank you so much for your concern. I will message you if I needed any help from you.”

That reply made my day and I was so happy. That reply gave me some hope. Next day, I had to go hometown to have some of my work done.

After two days of having our first conversation I sent her request on facebook and got accepted. I text her once on facebook and got a reply after One day. I came to know that she is not fond of using Facebook.

I stayed in hometown for four days, we only talked twice.

After I returned to Kathmandu I called her but it wasn’t received so I decided to text her. I got a reply after half an hour and came to know she was asleep. So after that, there was a contentious flow of messages. It was the time when I realized that now she is interested to talk to me. I called her in the evening and it was our first official talk, though it only lasted for Five minutes.

She had a very mellifluous voice. I added her in social sites. We started talking on a daily basis. We mostly used to chat, chat at night.

One night we chat up to Four am in the morning. I genuinely fell in love with her that day. I wanted to confess my love to her that how much I love her, how much I enjoy talking to her, and how I eagerly wait for her messages.

We started talking late at night. Late night calls and frequent messages became a habit, in fact, she became my habit.

 She used to tell me she is afraid to meet me in real life and we never had video chat. I was dying to meet her, and finally, after many attempts, I fixed our first date.

“Yes my very first date with a GIRL”!!

 We met in a restaurant. She was more beautiful in real. More beautiful than I had imagined and a little shy. We sat there and had a coffee. She held my hand and I felt her touch. The touch that went through the strings of my heart.

I was in love. I was in love with a girl that I barely know. I was so much in love with her that our first date made me think of spending life with her forever. I was daydreaming. I didn’t wanted her to go. I wanted her to stay with me forever. She was mine that day and I had my first kiss. Later that day she told me how good looking and good guy I ’m, Which I’m in real.

After One week, we had our second date. This time she was more excited to meet me.  We sat in a restaurant had coffee talked about our life, future, and other stuff. I vividly remember her cute smile, her mellifluous voice, how we walked holding each other’s hand. She told me she feels so secure and safe when I am with her and it felt really good knowing that I became so important in her life. It felt good because now there is someone who cares about me and there is someone with whom I can share my feelings. She was part of me in a very short time. 

After some days she had to go to her hometown in her vacations and we couldn’t talk for two days. Before leaving she said not to message or call her unless she does first.

She was my habit and those two days felt like two years. I didn’t know how she became so important to me. I was ardently waiting for her message. I was worried and tensed.

She texted me on the third day, I was so happy. We used to chat but could not talk.

After one and a half month, she returned to Kathmandu and I heard her voice after so long time.

There was a time when things were not good, I was going through a very hard time but she was there motivating and supporting me every day, asking about my life, my health. Once I thought of breaking up with her.

Later I realized that I did a great sin, I cried for her. I am a strong guy I cried for her that day. I cried because I hurt her. I cried because I did a great sin, I hurt the person who loves me so much, I cried because I thought I will lose her, I cried because I was taking out my soul. I was weak and sad.

But Thanks to god things got sorted later, and I apologized for my actions.

Now it’s been so long with her that I can’t imagine my life without her. I can’t leave her. Whenever there is some misunderstanding or my actions hurt her, I feel so guilty. I become weak, I become sad.

I think this is the power of LOVE and it is true that love is the connection between two hearts. She is connected to my heart.She is my soul.  She is my happiness. She came as a blessing in my despair days. She is my strength, motivation and my everything. I am madly in love with each other. I don’t know what our future is and I don’t want to know. I just want to spend my time with her. I want to have the best memory of my life with her.



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